My Rules for Dieting

As I struggle to lose the 5 lbs I put on during a recent visit to the west country of England, I have reached a sad conclusion. Losing weight is hard and painful. If you see an advertisement or infomercial talking about how easy weight loss is, or that you can enjoy pizza and other favorite foods, turn away, it’s all lies and you will only be frustrated. To cut through the clutter, I have come up with a simple list of rules that if you follow, I will guarantee you will lose weight. Note, I said the list is simple, not easy! Following my plan will be the hardest thing you have ever done regarding diet, but it works!

1.      If it taste good, don’t eat it. (Similar to Jack LaLanne’s “if it taste good spit it out”)

2.      If you feel cranky, lightheaded and hungry most of the day, you are following the plan perfectly.

3.      Brussel sprouts washed, cut into quarters make great snacks.

4.      You can overdo fruit, too much and you might as well eat a bag a candy.

5.      Do not expect support from your friends and family. They will do anything to get you to eat desert with them. My wife said she was with me and the other day she cut a piece of apple pie and started heaping ice cream on it.  I asked what the heck, she answered she needed calcium.

6.      Bacon can be your friend, get it without all the sodium and nitrates.

7.      Eventually just plain water will taste good.

8.      Try to exercise a little each day, preferably in the morning before the dizziness kicks in.

9.      Absolutely no snacking on chips, cookies, health bars or anything else that is not a fruit, vegetable, meat, seafood or grain.

10.  Finally, if you go to bed at night with hunger pains and your mouth waters when you think about the oatmeal you are going to have for breakfast, then you have had a good day.

Now one other drawback to this plan besides the constant hunger, loss of friends and poor work performance, it takes at least 2-3 weeks to see results.  But stick with it, you will see results, the hunger pains will subside and getting comfortably into your jeans again will put all the pain and suffering in the recesses of your mind.